How does a 12 year old cope with this?

The further I dig into the murky past of family history; the more discoveries cause me to shake my head in despair. Not least, the deposition to the coroner of twelve year old Henry Allan McKee on 27th September 1895, regarding the suicide of his thirty-four-year old police constable father THE DAY BEFORE!!! (My 2x great grandfather and Henry’s mother were siblings.)

Marion McKee (nee Allan) took three of her six children on a week’s holiday to Melbourne, staying with her mother, Mary Allan, leaving on Friday 20th September 1895. She took six year old William, three year old Ellen, and nine month old Marion. She left twelve year old Henry, eleven year old Ethel, and eight year old Leslie at home with their police constable father in Cranbourne. [Bear in mind the police constable and his family lived in the house attached to the police station.]

There is nothing in Marion’s or her son Henry’s deposition about the whereabouts of Ethel and Leslie at the time of their father’s death.

About 8 o’clock on the evening of Wednesday last my father complained about great pain in his head and wished he was dead and was raving. He was then in bed, he was sober. About 10 o’clock on Wednesday morning he sent me to the hotel for two shillings worth of brandy he said he thought it might do him good. After 8 o’clock from the manner in which my father was talking I hid his revolver and razor… About half an hour after this my father began to complain of the pain in his head again. He continued to complain until about a quarter past seven when he got up when he washed and dressed himself and went into the office and made some entries in his books. He asked me where his revolver was I said I won’t tell you, he pressed me and I gave him the revolver he was then in the kitchen. I went out to the stable and while there I heard the report of a shot in the house.